


Living memory

by White_Ithiliel



Series: Space trash bin [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Clones, Cody and Rex Are the Best, Dex is The Best Buddy Ever™, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Even When They Don't Talk Much, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Give Some Tea to the Poor Man, Hangover, Hurt No Comfort, Lots of Tea, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), No I'm not obsessed by Twi'Leks I don't know what you're talking about, No Slash, OC, Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan is a Good General, Qui-Gon does NOT live, Tea, Twi'leks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-02 07:05:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_Ithiliel/pseuds/White_Ithiliel
Summary: On an easy mission supposed to allow him to "relax", Obi-Wan encounters the living image of a dead man, and it reopens wounds he thought long healed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because I hadn’t written Obi-angst in quite some time.

Angorta was a quite peaceful planet. It belonged to the Republic, but was too small and not enough populated to get the Separatists’ attention, so there never had been any battle on its surface, or even in its system. The only reason Obi-Wan was here with Cody, Rex, and a small group of clones from both the 212th and the 501st was that the Council wanted their youngest member to relax a little bit - though that was the unofficial version.

The official one had been something on the lines of “somebody reported something weird and we thought it may have been battle droids, but we’re not sure and they’re probably gone anyway - still, it would be nice if you could go there and check things up.”

Also, the reason why Obi-Wan had some of Anakin’s troops with him was that said Anakin had managed to get Temple-grounded the day before. Something about tinkering with the Order’s droids, Mace had said. Ahsoka had been grounded too, of course, because she had apparently been helping her Master when they had managed to make one of their “toys” explode.  

Obi-Wan sighed soundlessly. He had not been filled with the details, but it did not really matter. He probably was better off not knowing.

Anyway. Here he was, searching for probably nonexistent battle droids in a busy but still rather calm capital, and he might as well _live in the moment_ and forget about the tongue lashing he was dying to give his fellow Council Members for wasting his time.

He ordered his soldiers to deploy in the city and report the next hour, and remained alone with Cody and Rex, who were trying to hide amused smiles. They may not be Force-sensitive, but it was not really hard to feel Obi-Wan’s frustration and annoyance.

He raised an eyebrow at them, but that only made the two gundark-headed banthas chuckle discreetly. He gave up. Yoda and Mace wanted him to relax, hmm? Well he was going to, since they offered so nicely.

“Commander, Captain, come on. Let’s have a drink,” he beckoned the two clones.

They exchanged surprised glances but followed gladly. Generals were not the only ones who needed a break.

“I’ll give the men a day off as soon as they come back,” Obi-Wan then promised, because there was no reason his soldiers would not be allowed to rest a little bit too.

And Cody and Rex nodded their thanks, gratitude echoing through the Force.

They were still walking to the nearest bar when something made their General stop dead in his tracks. Or more exactly, _someone_.

“Cody, Rex,” General Kenobi murmured, and they were shocked to hear his voice waver slightly. “Do you see that man? _Please_ , tell me you see him too.”

Cody looked in the direction his General was indicating, and nodded slowly.

“Human, really tall, broad-shouldered, with long, slightly graying hair? Yes sir. Why?”

But the Jedi did not reply. He just stood there, shaking, his eyes wide and his features frozen in what could only be described as intense distress mixed with disbelief and… _hope_?

“It can’t be him. It can’t be,” came the barely audible whisper.

Rex gave his brother a worried look, and they both stepped closer, Cody stretching out his hand to steady the usually perfectly composed Master.

“General?”

But he still would not answer.

“… Obi-Wan?” Rex tried tentatively, less afraid to use the more intimate name since General Kenobi was not _his_ direct officer.

But it did not work either. That’s when the man decided to turn in their direction, revealing leonin features and sharp green eyes, bright as emeralds. This at least seemed to jolt the Jedi Master out of his trance.

Still struggling to understand what the long-haired Human had of so special, Cody watched with shock as General Kenobi very soul shattered before his eyes, the last glimmer of hope vanishing from his gaze only to be replaced by the most broken expression the Commander had ever seen. And he had seen much. Brothers realizing they were the last survivors of their battalions, brothers being told their best friend was not going to make it, brothers seeing death for the first time, brothers _killing_ sentient beings for the first time…

The General was not one to show his emotions. To see him so off balance was extremely disturbing. But the anguished expression disappeared as suddenly as it had come, and General Kenobi’s face turned into the emotionless mask the two clones had come to know well.

The Jedi chose that moment to abruptly walk away, striding toward the man with his usual, confident pace. But Cody and Rex still picked up the murmured “I have to make sure.”

“Sir, what is it? Do you know that person?” Rex ventured hesitantly, hurrying after his superior and wishing with all his heart his own General was there.

Cody apparently shared his sentiment, because he muttered something sounding like “we need Skywalker” before trailing after them.

Obi-Wan barely paid attention to the two clone officers, instead entirely focusing on reaching the man. He had to know, he had to ask. The green eyes had annihilated what little hope he had had, but still…

“No, WAIT!” Obi-Wan all but yelled, running after the other Human as the man suddenly keyed a digital lock, sliding the door of a building open.

That stopped the tall being right in his tracks, startled. His confusion and shock increased tenfold when he realized the one calling out for him was a Jedi.

The young Master ran even faster, stopping a mere meter away from the older man.

“I am sorry to importune you,” he panted, but his voice was steady and firm, the perfect example of a calm and centered Council Member of the revered Jedi Order. “Do you have a brother?”

The other nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow in achingly familiar way.

“I had one, a long time ago. Why?”

Obi-Wan’s composure threatened to shatter once more as he stared at the beloved face of a total stranger.

“Was he taken to the Jedi Temple at a young age?”

And this time his voice was not so steady anymore.

The man’s features softened and he smiled slightly, oblivious to Obi-Wan’s distress. Perhaps the far too young and far too hurting General was even better at hiding his emotions than he had always thought.

“Yes. Do you know him, Master Jedi?”

 _Oh, Force…_ Even the voice was practically the same than the deep, rich one Obi-Wan knew he would never hear again.

“I… used to. I am sorry to say he was killed almost twelve years ago.”

Oh, how _sorry_ could not even begin to describe his feelings on that matter!

Behind him, Cody and Rex - whom he had completely forgotten about - were exchanging bewildered glances, but he paid them no attention. His eyes were fixed upon the brother of that man he had known for so long, fought side by side for so long, learned from for so long and loved for so long. Fixed upon the brother of his…

Obi-Wan could not bear to think about it. To think about _him_.

The tall man’s eyes widened for a brief moment, and he then sighed sadly, running a hand through his long, graying hair, sorrow coloring the Force in cold shades all around him.

“… It’s okay. I never had a chance to meet him. He went to your Temple years before I was even born. You knew him better than me, I suppose.”

Obi-Wan nodded briefly, hiding his blue eyes from sight for a second, hoping the other would not be able to see through the twin windows offering a clear view of his heart.

“Yes. Again, I am sorry I bothered you with this. It’s just… For a moment I had thought… I hope you can forgive me.”

“I understand. It’s fine.”

The green eyes stared into his, and there were so bright and so full of life when others had closed forever as he held their owner in his arms…

Suddenly Obi-Wan could take no more and he bowed low, already ready to leave. A gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him. The same gentle touch he had been given for twelve years and deprived of for the same amount of time. He could have screamed in pain as his heart bled, had he not been a Jedi. Had he not been Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Negotiator.

“Wait,” the man said softly. “I do not even know your name, and I haven’t given you mine. Please, let me buy you a drink. Your men can come too.”

“… Alright.”

Cody and Rex followed without a word, still having no idea of what was happening on Coruscant was happening.

This person was a relative of a Jedi the General used to know? But why did he never talk about im, if they really had had a close relationship?

They entered the closest bar and sat around a table, the not-quite-but-almost old man ordering four glasses of a strong local alcohol.

“So,” he began, “I suppose I need to properly introduce myself. The name is Tae-Kan Jinn. You?”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi,” the Jedi mouthed.

Cody and Rex hesitated, unsure whether they were included in the conversation.

“CC-2224 aka Commander Cody and CT-7567 aka Captain Rex,” they said at last, waiting for the General to get them out of this awkward situation.

“The two finest officers in the whole GAR,” he indicated with a small smile, still looking at Tae-Kan.

The man all but whistled at the names, visibly impressed.

“High General Kenobi? The Negotiator? You’re quite the celebrity, Master Kenobi. May I ask how you came to know my brother?”

Obi-Wan stared at his drink but left it untouched, certain it would not do anything to soothe the agony he was feeling at that moment.

“… I was Qui-Gon Jinn’s apprentice,” he uttered in a flat tone.

There. He had said it. It had burned his lips, the pain worse than it had ever been in twelve years. Then again, he had never come across the living image of his dead Master.

Cody and Rex had all but started at the emotionless statement, and Tae-Kan stared at him gravely.

“I see.”

Now that he had acknowledged his connection to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan longed to say more, to prolong the conversation, to just listen to the voice he had missed so badly and pretend for a moment this was Qui-Gon sitting in front of him.

But it was not the Jedi way. To do so would be admit he was still attached to his Master after all these years. He raised his drink wordlessly and swallowed, half-hoping the liquid fire would kill him.

But it did not, and Obi-Wan Kenobi could do nothing but watch the world continue its endless play before his eyes, his soul hidden behind the mask of polished stone people found handsome and kind. But they did not know. They did not know the mask was but a shadow, a mere echo of the real Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The four men drank silently, three of them too intelligent to say a word and the last one unable to make a single sound.

At long last Cody’s comlink beeped, and they all got on their feet.

“The men are ready to give you their report, sir,” the Commander said quietly.

“Thanks, Cody. I am sorry, Mast… Mister Jinn, it’s time for us to go.”

 _Not yet,_ a voice begged in the back Obi-Wan’s mind. _It may not be Qui-Gon, and you may have nothing to say right now, but don’t go now! Just sit with him. He may not be your fa… your Master but he still feels like him, if only a lit bit. Stay!!_

Obi-Wan ignored the voice.

“Goodbye, Master Jedi,” Tae-Kan replied.

The words sounded empty to their ears, but there was nothing either of them could do about it. Tae-Kan was not Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan was not Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan turned away, following Cody and Rex. He did not look back, though his soul screamed at him to do so. 

Once they were far enough, Obi-Wan suddenly shook his head as if awakening from a bad dream and set his mouth into a thin line, his face shifting from emotionless to stern. 

“I would be grateful if you could both restrain from ever mentioning what just occurred,” he said seriously, and it of course was not a request but an order.

The two soldiers nodded. 

“You can count on us, General,” Rex promised.

Obi-Wan allowed himself a small, tired smile and dragged a weary hand across his eyes before running it in his auburn hair. 

“Thanks. Now let’s hear the men’s reports and get the _kriff_ out this planet. Once we’re on Coruscant, I want to go straight to the 79′s and drink myself to oblivion. If the Council tries to contact me, tell them I’m _relaxing.”_

Two jaws hit the ground in a perfectly synchronized movement.

“… Are… are you serious sir?”

“Absolutely.”

Cody frowned at that, because his General was not one to get drunk when he wished to forget - his General _meditated_ , in this kind of situation. He reached out and put his hand on the older Human's shoulder, relieved when the other did not pull away.

“Sir, with all due respect… Are you okay?”

Obi-Wan burst out laughing, but it was a bitter laugh, one that hurt instead of make things better.

“No. I’m not, Cody.”

And he walked away, the pain of the last twelve years, the responsibilities of a Jedi Master and the horror of the war heavy on his shoulders. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaaaa! It was depressing, wasn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

"For the last time, Cody, _tell me where he is!_ " General Skywalker snapped at the other end of the comlink, his voice all but trembling with anger.

Cody winced, and Rex with him.

"I can't, sir, I'm sorry," he said, careful to put the correct amount of resigned guilt in his answer - guilt he did not entirely feel.

"In case you hadn't understood, Commander, this wasn't a request," the young General hissed, his tone so cutting it could have cleaved durasteel.

But not Cody's defenses though. Even General Skywalker was not able to practice a mind trick from afar, and the Commander was not about to let _his_ General down, not if he could help it. General Kenobi was in no condition to see his younger friend, and the Knight would undoubtedly ask a thousand questions if he were to discover where his former Master currently was. Questions that would eventually lead to the story Rex and Cody had promised never to tell anyone.

The clone took a deep breath, ran a hand into his dark, thick hair inherited from Jango, and brought the comlink to his lips again.

"With all due respect, sir, General Kenobi outranks you, and he asked not to be disturbed, under _any_ circumstances. I'm sorry."

A short, awkward silence, soon broken by an exasperated sigh.

"Hand the comlink to Rex, Cody."

Both clone officers' eyes widened in concern and the blond one chewed his lips anxiously, glancing up to his slightly older brother for guidance. To refuse something to a Jedi was one thing. To refuse something to _his_ Jedi was another, and Rex was not certain he would be able to do it.

Cody saw the hesitancy, plain as daylight on his best friend's face, and took the matter on his own hands.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid we can't hear you. What did you say?"

"Don't mess with me, Cody! I said... "

"Sorry… What… you… say… Can't… hear… Transmission… jammed… and… Sir… ?"

And Cody turned the comlink off with a wry smile - _oh, boy, am I in trouble this time!_ \- not bothering to look at his appalled brother's face. Rex was visibly trying to find something to say, but had not even managed to wrap his mind around what had just occurred. Instead, they both left the room and headed to another, that one dark and silent, practically empty save from a bunk.

On said bunk laid General Kenobi, perfectly still, his arms crossed beneath his head, eyes clearly open. Cody and Rex could have both sworn he was merely resting, lost in thought, had they not witnessed him absorb three bottles of mixed Corellian and Coruscanti alcohol the night before. 

Watching General Kenobi get drunk had been a very _interesting_ experience, to say the least. He had not acted in any _undignified_ manner, had not made a fool of himself, had not gotten over-emotional, angry or depressed. He had not even thrown up. He had simply drunk glass after glass until 3:30 am, silently, almost mechanically, before stumbling to the restrooms and passing out on a bed.

Which, according to the other soldiers, was an incredible feat considering the amount of alcohol he had ingested. They all had predicted he would not wake for two day or so, but had just been proven wrong. It was not even 7:30 am yet.

"Sir?" Rex asked tentatively. "Are you alright?"

"I have the worst hangover I ever experienced in my entire _life,_ " the Jedi Master stated dispassionately, gaze still on the ceiling. "I also feel like the most pathetic, depraved wreck in the Galaxy, I have shamed my Jedi training, my education, my Masters and my entire Order and my head is most certainly about to explode. I'm otherwise feeling great. Anything else, Captain?"

His emotionless tone said more about his state than any of his words actually did, and it sent chills down the clones' spines.

But that did not stop Cody from stepping closer to the bunk, though he stopped approximately two meters away from it. For kriff's sake, Jedi might be mystical monks with weird powers and flashy swords, but they were still _sentients!_ They still had breaking points, and General Kenobi obviously had reached his over and over again.

"Sir…" the Commander tried, unable to just stand there and let his officer drown in his misery.

" _Don't_ , Cody," came the cutting reply, instantly followed by a broken whisper. " _Please._ "

The almost desperate plea froze the two brothers dead were they were standing, their eyes widening comically at their superior, who still would not look at them.

And then the Master suddenly sat up, his tousled hair and red-rimmed eyes strangely reminiscent of a hungover teenager. It could have been funny, had not the circumstances been so… well… unfortunate.

Obi-Wan stumbled past the two soldiers, staggering pathetically to the refresher, certain he had just not only degraded himself in front of the GAR's two best men, but utterly annihilated what little respect they could ever have had for the lamentable excuse of a Jedi he was.

The door slid shut with a soft click, leaving Cody and Rex alone, concerned and saddened - though Obi-Wan's grasp on the Force was currently too hazy and fogged for him to notice. The only thing he could feel was self-disgust, which only drastically increased when he remembered Jedi Masters were not to feel such emotions, much less abandon themselves to them.

Caught in a vicious circle of contradictory feelings and pain, Obi-Wan just stripped himself of his clothes and huddled in a corner of the refresher, trying to clear his mind by focusing on the water that poured on him.

The water drops trailed down his face as he lifted it, hiding the ones that already were there. The advantage of getting _wasted_ , Obi-Wan reflected wryly, was that nobody would question it if your eyes were swollen.

After what felt like years, he finally stepped out of the shower, dressed with fresh clothes he had taken with him for the mission on Angorta. A rapid inspection of the main room confirmed that Cody and Rex were not in the _79's_ anymore, and though Obi-Wan had expected it, it still made him feel strangely empty.

Things were easier with them by his side. They were not just his _soldiers,_  they were his _friends,_  and good ones with that. Yes, he had proven himself to be completely unworthy of the admiration and trust they had for him, but still…

Being friends with clones was not the same thing that with Jedi. Clones _understood_ the difference between attachment and love. They _loved_ each others - a deep, unconditional brotherly love - but knew how to _let go_. Most Jedi often tended to think that the total _absence_ of love was better than the mere _risk_ of attachment.

Unsurprisingly, Obi-Wan had spectacularly failed to keep himself from both. He had loved Qui-Gon like a father, and Anakin like a son - or perhaps a younger sibling - and he had loved Siri, and had loved Satine, and in all those cases he had been convinced of his ability to let go of them.

He had been  _certain_ he had managed to let go of Qui-Gon years ago - and had been utterly wrong, as his encounter with Tae-Kan had proved him.

Biting back a sigh, Obi-Wan quietly greeted the clones gathered around the bar, and a few of them returned the salute, understanding resonating through the Force. Nobody had asked questions the night before - even though it was probably the first time anyone else than a brother was here - and nobody asked questions then, and for that Obi-Wan was grateful.

When he walked out of the _79's,_  he had to put his hand on his eyes to keep them from being literally _stabbed_ by the offensive daylight. It almost made him chuckle in dark humor - what was he, a vampire?

 _Guess my headache is not going away anytime soon,_  he thought ruefully, though he esteemed he deserved it.

Then he beckoned an air taxi and asked to be taken to CoCo Town, since he had nowhere else to go. It was time to go say "hello" to Dex.

The taxi driver was a middle aged Twi'Lek with warm orange eyes, bright yellow skin and lustrous lekku displaying intricate, beautiful white patterns. His elfin ears perked up curiously as Obi-Wan entered the speeder, as he no doubt noticed the Jedi attire and lightsaber, but he stayed silent.

It was almost midday when Obi-Wan finally arrived at Dex's, thanks to Coruscanti traffic, and he was positively _starving._  As soon as he passed the door, the Human was greeted by a bone-crushing, four-armed hug and a huge, toothy grin.

"Obi-Wan!" Dex boomed, obviously delighted. "I 'adn't seen ye in ages! What's yer business 'ere, my friend?"

Chuckling softly, though the Besalisk's voice made his headache increase tenfold, Obi-Wan frivolously used the Force to pull a chair in his direction and sat down.

"Hi Dex. I just wanted to drop by - please don't shout, by the way, I've got a _slight_ hangover," he said with a small smile, his brain still a bit too fuzzy to realize what he was implying.

The huge Besalisk immediately frowned.

"... A 'angover, ye? And ye wanted to "drop by" instead of stayin' at that Temple of yers? Oh oh, somethin' ain't right 'ere, and yer gonna tell me what."

And he slumped on a seat right in front of Obi-Wan, resting his higher forearms on the table between them and folding the lower ones in a stern fashion.

"C'mon buddy, what's the problem?"

Obi-Wan gave himself the mental equivalent of a facepalm, but opened his mouth to answer, knowing he would not be able to avoid the other's concerned inquiry. Maybe he had unconsciously come here to talk, after all. Who knew?

"I… met somebody."

He almost burst out laughing at Dex's raised eyebrow.

"Not _that_ kind of somebody, Dex. I'm not lovesick or anything. I was on a mission on Angorta, a small, peaceful, insignificant planet, and… Well... " he trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah?" Dex urged gently, his - relatively - small eyes softer than before.

"... I met Qui-Gon's brother. And he looked exactly like him - so much that I _actually thought_ he was Qui-Gon. And he had almost the same voice, and his Force-signature felt so familiar… I… I really thought I had come to terms with Qui-Gon's death, Dex. I was convinced of that. I'm a member of the _Jedi Council,_  for kark's sake! I shouldn't be clinging to the past in such a way! And the worst thing is: instead of dealings with emotions I never should have had in the first place by meditating or asking for the guidance of wiser Masters, _I got drunk._ I went to the 79's with my soldiers and I got drunk. I got _wasted._  I'm the most pathetic, lamentable, unworthy Jedi in the whole Order, and the simple fact I'm telling you this is proving it because I'm indulging in self-pity. I'm…"

And he suddenly stopped, out of breath.

Dex used the opportunity to whack him on the head, eliciting a sharp yelp of pain - getting _whacked on the head_ by a Besalisk was _very unpleasant._

"Ye wanna know what's yer problem?" he snapped. "It's not missin' Qui-Gon, it's not gettin' drunk instead of _meditatin'_ , and it's not bein' unworthy of yer title. It's leavin' Angorta without 'avin' a good talk with yer _uncle_. It's bein' 'ere, on Coruscant, when ye should be on that "small, peaceful, insignificant planet" of 'is. Now get the 'ell outta my place, Kenobi, and don't come back until yer okay. Got it?"

And Obi-Wan stared at him with wide, uncomprehending eyes, the words "does not compute" hovering above his head in a incredibly comical way.

" _Go,_ " Dex growled, pointing the door with a thick, grease-smeared finger.

"Yes sir," Obi-Wan answered at last with a cheeky grin, his brain finally registering and _understanding_ his friend's words.

And he ran out of Dex's, calling an air taxi for the second time and returning as fast as possible where he had parked his ship when they had arrived on Coruscant yesterday.

"Cody, do you copy? Come in please," he asked in his comlink, suddenly full of determination and newfound energy. Dex had that effect. "Cody?"

"... Yes sir?" came the hesitant reply, the Commander obviously still concerned about his General.

"Where are you, exactly? You were not in the _79's_ when I left it."

"Rex and I felt free to return to our barracks, sir."

"It's okay, Cody, you did well. I shall apologize properly for my unbecoming behavior when I come home. But for now I'm going back to Angorta. You're free to tell Anakin  where I am if he asks. Don't worry, I will be back in a couple of days at most."

Obi-Wan felt the other smile with satisfaction, even though he could not see him, and it made him smile too.

"I'm pleased to hear that, General," Cody commented just before shutting down his comlink. "Rex and I were a little worried about letting you get back to the Temple in such a state. Surely the Council and General Skywalker would have thought we clones were _rubbing off on you._ "

The young Master almost choked. Had his oh-so-serious and sometimes almost _stuck-up_ Commander just made a jest? Shrugging slightly, he decided to wonder about it later and got onto his ship, grinning broadly.

 _I should have gone to Dex in the first place_ , he thought, berating himself mentally. _I can be one big idiot of a Jedi sometimes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already written the last chapter ;) I'm probably going to post it tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Once he arrived on Angorta, less than a day later, finding Tae-Kan was relatively easy. The Force guided Obi-Wan's steps and led him to a rather large house outside the capital, with a wonderful garden full of strange, beautiful or downright terrifying plants. Just the kind of garden Qui-Gon would have loved, he noticed, and some of his previous heaviness of heart returned.

But he did not hesitate when he knocked at the door, bracing himself for the evident rebuff he was going to receive. This idea was stupid, now that he thought about it, but he had to try. Or to do, more exactly.

The door slid open within second and Obi-Wan was greeted by Tae-Kan's oh-so-familiar face, split by a wide grin.

"I knew you would come back, Master Jedi," the older man affirmed, and he pulled Obi-Wan inside.

"Love, we have a visitor," his host shouted, and Obi-Wan's mind was assailed by images of dark honey skin and gold striped eyes, images of what could have been and what should have been, and what had not been able to be, and memories of a maternal caress on his cheek, driving away fear and worry.

_Tahl._

"Please tell me your wife is not a Noorian," Obi-Wan muttered, though he doubted Tae-Kan would hear him.

But he did, and he sent Obi-Wan a questioning glance, promptly followed by a deep chuckle.

"She most certainly is not."

And Obi-Wan suddenly found himself face to face with a blue skinned Twi'Lek woman, still beautiful though age was showing on her elegant features.

His jaw probably hit the floor at some point, because he distinctly heard himself snap it shut, but his first shock was quickly replaced with endless amusement, because _of course_ Qui-Gon's sister-in-law would be a Twi'Lek! Clearly, being both incredibly open-minded _and_ stubborn (it took at least that to marry somebody from another species) was running in the family.

"My lady," he bowed, hiding his amusement with well-practiced ease. "My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. I am honored to meet you."

Behind him, Tae-Kan sniggered in a nearly wicked way.

The woman considered her younger interlocutor for a split second before grabbing him by the arm, to his undying astonishment, and pulling him after her to what he guessed to be the kitchen, from the wonderful scent of tea he could smell.

"You, young man, look awfully tired and in dire need of sustenance," she said, the authority of a thousand Generals in her deeply accented voice. "By the way, my name is Seku," she continued as they entered the smaller room, where _four_ other people were sitting.

Obi-Wan's eyes widened comically, his brain unable to keep up with all that was happening. On one chair was a strikingly beautiful Hybrid woman, who could not be older than thirty, her lekku far shorter than Seku's, and her pale blue skin displaying large patches of cream.

"This is my daughter, Hirani," Seku indicated proudly, nodding at the young woman.

Hirani. Qui-Gon's niece.

"This is her husband, Karawn," she continued, designating a "purebred" purple skinned Twi'Lek, "and their children, Elav and Nima," she added, this time pointing her finger in the direction of a eight years old boy and his four years old sister.

The two child had inherited of both their parent's skin colors, which made them a fascinating melange of white, azure and violet. They were Qui-Gon's grandnephew and grandniece, Obi-Wan realized - and indeed, he could see his old master in the little boy's features

He bowed numbly in greeting, barely noticing as Seku pushed a cup of hot tea in his hands.

Tae-Kan chose that moment to enter, followed by a grinning tooka.

"Don't mind the little monster," he said, smiling down at the purring feline. "She is quite willful, but she doesn't harm visitors."

"Only members of the family," laughed Hirani, lifting up her hand to show a deep, angry-looking scratch. "Seriously, dad, you and your _pathetic life forms…_ ".

Obi-Wan had to muster all his self-control to not step back, the words stinging like a violent slap.

"... So, Master Jedi," Karawn asked in a friendly tone, "what brings you here on Angorta, and why did my estimated father-in-law take you into his home? You don't look like a starving puppy to me."

"Karawn," Seku chided, "this is not a polite way to begin a conversation."

But the man only smiled, taking a small sip of his tea - which reminded Obi-Wan he had yet to taste his. He swallowed a large gulp, savoring the delicious aroma, and could not help but let out a small sigh of contentment when the familiar warmth settled in his stomach.

"Wait," Elav suddenly frowned. "You're a Jedi? A real Jedi? With a lightsaber and all?"

Obi-Wan smiled kindly.

"Yes, my young friend. I'm a real Jedi. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Karawn and Hirani's eyes widened slightly, but they fortunately kept their mouth shut.

"Your brother is a Jedi too, right Grandpa?" Nima suddenly chirped, looking at Tae-Kan, her little face beaming with pride.

And Obi-Wan immediately felt his good mood disappear, only to be replaced by the same dark emotions that had plagued him since his encounter with the _living_ image of his dead master. Tae-Kan obviously noticed it, because he ruffled his granddaughter's lekku and gave a meaningful glance to his wife, daughter, and son-in-law.

"Sure he is, Nima, and that's precisely with Master Kenobi is here. Now, will Elav and you please go to the playroom with your parents and Grandma? Master Kenobi and I must talk about _boring,_ adult stuff."

The children made grimace of disgust and ran off, quickly followed by the three adults - though _they_ did not run.

Obi-Wan found himself alone with Tae-Kan, and all in the sudden did not know what to say, nor what to do. He just sat in one of the abandoned chairs and set his cup on the table.

"... You have a wonderful family, Mister Jinn. I thank you for your hospitality."

But the older man waved the thanks away with a small gesture of the hand and sat next to the Jedi, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Call me Tae-Kan, Master Kenobi."

"Then call me Obi-Wan, Tae-Kan," came the slightly amused reply, though Obi-Wan's heart was not in it.

"... Alright, Obi-Wan. Tell me what's bothering you. You would not have come back without a good reason," he urged in a paternal voice that sounded _exactly_ like Qui-Gon's.

"A friend convinced me to do it. I was feeling… down," Obi-Wan whispered, eyes fixed on the steadily cooling cup of tea. "You look very much like _him,_ " he added, voice still not above a murmur.

Tae-Kan hummed.

"I see. Would talk about my brother ease your mind?"

"I don't know."

"Well, let's find out. Was he a good teacher?"

That was a question he could answer without an hesitation. Memories rushed back to him, of strong but never brutal hands guiding him through new katas, of a warm Force-signature grounding him into the present moment whenever they meditated, of stern but calm reprimands motivated by insolent comments or reckless actions…

"Yes. The best," he smiled sadly, emotions threatening to suffocate him.

"Did you love him?"

Hands stroking his hair with infinite gentleness when he had been sick, injured or merely sleeping, rare but treasured embraces after a stressful mission of a traumatic event, small words of praise, light banter, countless battles fought side by side…

_"You will become a great Jedi Knight. You will make me proud."_

"Like a father," and the words sounded true, _felt_ true as he pronounced them.

Tae-Kan stayed silent for a few moments, musing on what his younger interlocutor had just said.

"Can you talk about how he died?"

No. No. _That_ he could not do. Anything but that. Anything but to relive once again the dreadful fight. Anything but to see the red-veined, orange eyes filled with hatred and fury, to hear his own cry of despair, to watch his Master fall on his knees and collapse in a dead faint.

He shook his head wordlessly and Tae-Kan sighed.

"I understand, it's all right. But I don't see how I can help you. I'm not him, you know."

"I know," he almost snapped.

Oh, how Obi-Wan knew! How Obi-Wan longed to have his Master, his _real_ Master, _Qui-Gon Jinn_ sitting next to him right now. But it was not possible. And Jedi did not dwell on the past.

"I know," he repeated, in a much softer tone. "Just… be there. Please."

And before he knew it he was engulfed in the first hug he had received in more than a decade. With wonder, and no small amount of horror, Obi-Wan realized he had not once felt completely _safe_ in said decade. He all but melted in the embrace, shuddering, his body racked with violent, dry sobs.

Tae-Kan was not Qui-Gon, but he did not _need_ to be. He could be himself, and it would still be good enough for Obi-Wan. He did not need to be his _father_ ; he could be his _uncle._

When the dry sobs finally subsided - after what felt like an eternity - Tae-Ken gently pulled away and held on Obi-Wan's shoulders protectively, waiting for him to speak.

"You're exactly like him," the master said, his voice hoarse. "Not just physically, but in every way possible."

Tae-Kan's piercing green eyes lit with sudden joy and he smiled at his younger friend.

"Considering how much you admired him, that's the best compliment you could give me."

They got up slowly and headed to the playroom, where Elav was torturing his little sister in the worst way possible - he was tickling her, yes. Karawn and Hirani were watching them fondly, while Seku petted the grinning tooka.

Elav jumped on his feet the second his saw his grandfather and Obi-Wan enter.

"Master Jedi! Can you show us one of your tricks? My sister won't believe you can make objects float - that's why I was tickling her! Please, Master Kenobi!"

The adultes exchanged amused glances, while Nima made a face at her big brother, obviously certain that _nobody_ could make objects float.

Obi-Wan felt lighter than he had in a long time, longer than he could even remember. A mischievous sparkle suddenly ignited in his eyes, and he flicked his wrist with a chuckle.

Whatever Elav had expected, it certainly was not to find himself two meters and half above the ground, hanging by his ankle. Nima squealed in mixed awe, horror and delight while her brother tried to shout something that sound like "put me down" between bursts of laughter.

Obi-Wan did as asked, but still tickled the boy with the Force before actually lowering him on the floor.

"Jedi rule, Elav: you don't try to impose your opinion to somebody else by force."

The rest of the day was spent in the same good ambience, and Seku forced Obi-Wan to stay both for lunch and dinner. They also all tried to make him promise he would come back, but he could of course not promise such a thing, so he just said he would do his best. But he _would_ send them messages.

Karawn, Hirani and Seku had been told of his ties to their family, and had been more than willing give him their unconditional affection, to his amazement. These people truly were wonderful, and he probably never had encounter the like of them in all his travels throughout the Galaxy.

Seku in particular was a treasure of a woman. She had given her "nephew" - that had been her exact word - a thermos full of tea for his journey home and had even kissed him on the cheek.

Strangely enough, when Obi-Wan had stepped into his shuttle and started the engine, ready to go back to Coruscant, the planet where he had been living for practically his entire life, he still felt like he was leaving his _real_ home, this charming house where he had spent barely an entire day.

But the feeling disappeared when he eventually found himself staring at the Republic's jewel, a smile on his lips. No matter how much he had bonded with Qui-Gon's blood family, the Jedi were still _his_ , _their_ real one. And he was not as alone as he had fooled himself into believing. He had Anakin, and Ahsoka, and the clones. He had Yoda, and Mace, and the rest of the Council. He had his childhood friends and his civilians friends.

And perhaps he still had Qui-Gon too, in a way. He still had the memories, and thus maybe his Master would never truly disappear from his life.

"I hope I made you proud, Master," he murmured as he stepped out of his ship, right in front of the Jedi Temple.

If Anakin had not unexpectedly jumped into his arms on that precise moment, he probably would have felt the tiny brush of the Force stroking his hair in a affectionate way.

"... Hum, what are you doing?" Obi-Wan asked dumbfoundedly, staring at his former apprentice.

"Master, I'm so sorry! Cody and Rex told me what had happened on Angorta - it's not their fault, I went to the barracks and mind tricked them - and they told me how bad it had made you feel and I remembered all the times I compared you to _him_ even though it was not justified! I'm sorry!"

Oh.

_Oh._

Seeing no other alternative, Obi-Wan hugged his old Padawan back, still a bit shocked.

"I'm alright now Anakin. I promise."

And for the first time in years, it was true.


End file.
